You knew better, right?  There is no way I will ever sign up on an online dating site. 

I know many people who’ve found their true love their soul mate, their counterpart, their everything on a dating site.  Yada yada yada whatever.  They are happy beyond measure -swearing that paying whatever membership fee, writing a (very factual, I’m sure) bio, throwing up a photoshopped picture of themselves in some lip-puckering sultry pose, and hitting ‘submit’ has given them more daily pleasure than anything they could have ever imagined.  Have these people never eaten dark chocolate?

The whole online dating phenomenon does not help one iota with my jaded.  Someone was just telling me that “at our age, it’s more about finding someone that is ‘compatible’ and has similar interests in life rather than true love.”  Hogwash and humbug, I say.  Or at least I hold to in an effort to have the happily ever after which has eluded me for forty solid years. 

But thankfully in the meantime, I have not lost my sense of humor.  Not only are there the usual suspects in the way of online dating sites, but now apparently there is one called:  FarmersOnly.com.  I saw it on a commercial as a “woman” was “driving” a John Deere through a field as she happened upon some toned and tanned sweaty farmer planting something totally unrecognizable to us city folk.  And as crazy good luck would have it, he even had a towel on him to wipe his brow. 

The only thing which I did recognize in all of this was my utter contempt for one more marketing ploy aimed at suckers.  Along with verification beyond a doubt that when I move in a few years, it will not be to a farm. 

East Coast New-England style house with a big ass French Rooster Country Kitchen?  Twist my arm.  Just not too hard since I may have to plant a garden or something if they’re low on lobster.