Secretly, I simultaneously love and hate clichés. Love them, because they are typically true and the second they come to fruition, it is a tear-jerking, joyous moment. Hate them, because they are typically true and the second they come to fruition, it is a tear-jerking, joyous moment.
It goes by so fast. Your kid growing up, that is. Understatement of a lifetime.
Over the years I have instituted ceremonies and rituals around the house which Liv can pass on generation to generation. Think a little red heart-infested mailbox from Feb 1- Feb 14 whereby I leave her notes and treats. Or, riddles at Easter (hey, big words and trivia don’t just formulate themselves). Christmas is insanity under the heading of tradition.
I decided about a week ago what I would do for her Senior Year. The plan is two-fold: one, I’ve hung a super cute blackboard on the spare bedroom door in Liv’s “wing” of the house (read: don’t bother me over here, Mom.) It reads I’m Proud of You Because. So, weekly I will write, in elementary chalk-like fashion because can she please be in 3rd grade again, one of the many reasons for which I am inexplicably proud of her.
However, there is also this teensy-weensy little clip on that board. And I am going to hang some of my favorite quotes on 3×5 index cards each day, gather them in a yet-to-be-made box, and hand that to her the day I take her to college. Some of those (Scriptural) quotes have gotten me through the worst of times, and I want Liv to hear two voices, even when she refuses to call out of sheer determination under her own heading of newfound independence.
Secondly, I am going to journal every day with excerpts, fears, failures, joys, triumphs, and of course, advice. She can take it or leave it – but it will be there for her nonetheless. Because right now, I cannot stop crying that she won’t be…
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8/13/14
Today is your first day of school. It is the 13th time this day has come and gone, excluding your Montessori years. It is so bittersweet for me, although not nearly as much as I already know – and can feel – your graduation day will be, as well as the day when I take you off to college.
Today I’m remembering our drives to the Montessori when we’d sing Winnie the Pooh OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, kissing Miss Witch on our porch every day in the Fall, riding the bus with you on the first day of kindergarten, Friday Folders, Fishes Wishes, 5th grade graduation, counting “bugs” in the parking lot every morning when I dropped you off at the front doors of school, usually without a hug but always with a “Love you,” watching you from the dining room window as you maturely walked to the end of our driveway to wait for the bus by yourself, “running you over” at the bus stop on a rainy morning! (oops), taking you to the High School your Freshman year so you could walk the halls in all your glory and nerves, being awakened by the 5-0 as you and your partner in crime sat in cruisers…and now – as I drink my coffee to wake up because girl, all that made me tired!- I wonder truly how it is that I’m gonna get through all these emotions as you are continuing to spread those beautiful wings and fly this coop you’re so ready to leave, beginning today – you’re first day of school.
Happy Senior Year, sweets. GO ROCK IT.