I have learned so much this week my head is near exploding. Sometimes a week is filled with one main theme, or one thing in which we were busiest or made the most progress. We can look back on a Friday afternoon as we count down the minutes until 5 o’clock and go, “Man, I ran like Usain this week!” or “Man, thank goodness thatproject is finally complete.”
Monday morning, 4:10am: alarm, sigh and eye roll, out the door to run. Badly, but the temperature was glorious and I was alone and felt empowered in the swearing at and shutting off of my watch. Take that, you innate object that can’t talk back. I win.
By 7:00am I was showered and out the door, ready to jump into the crazy world of work. However before the house alarm was even set, my phone was lighting up as if it sixth-sensed an intruder.
Two things: I am a grammarian and shortcutting even in texts drives me insane, and personal issue? Probably not the best person in your phone’s contacts to ask. I haven’t heard from this person in almost a year, so my gut that I rarely listen to but is usually right told my stupid head that it was probably because said person was about to inquire about a divorce.
Yet because we have hometown ties, because I hate to let anyone down, because I am GASP! nice and compassionate and hate to see people hurt, I responded. And, I think maybe even helped. (Don’t divorce, valiant efforts, lots of counseling, even more prayer…we’ll see. Or actually if my prayers are answered, I won’t see.)
Months ago, I turned her on to The Skimm, which is a sardonic newsletter of sorts wherein two female writers “skim” the headline news and add their witty spin before pushing it out to incredibly thankful and fellow sarcastic folk like us. Angela was apparently returning the favor now by sending me a newsletter (that I immediately subscribed to the second I finished reading) also written by women – smart women in Hollywood (and no, that’s actually not oxymoronic).
I began reading that article which such fervor it was like I was lapping up chocolate ice cream at the bottom of a bowl that had been stirred around frantically in an effort to turn it into soup.
I mean that in this clichéd fantasy freaking world in which we ALL live – actors and non-actors and salespeople and teachers and fill a profession in as you may – men absolutely think that if a woman a) knows sports b) has a potty-mouth c) is “just one of the guys”, i.e. cool chick d) can quote movie lines and e) still bake and do their laundry and put on knee pads at their very whim/any day that end in ‘y’ – that their dream has finally come true.
Only guess what? That lasts about a minute. Or a day, a week, or sometimes even a year. I can assure you – that emotionally masked dichotomy does not last a lifetime. One of two things inevitably happens. Either the man begins to feel emasculated by his dreamy counterpart who is literally doing nothing differently that what attracted him to her in the first place – or – she will begin to feel resentment for being the lone wolf in the relationship, one presumably she thought would be based at a minimum on truthfulness and equality.
I hate the term “Alpha Female” when used to describe a kick ass woman. But let’s be honest, it’s a real thing and any woman (Jennifer Lawrence, I’m lookin’ at you) who falls under that heading is pretty much screwed.