Have you ever kept a secret so big that it held you back from loving someone else completely? Did you think that you could hide from God in the process, too? Tune in as Beth and her guest, Cindy DeBoer, talk very openly about how committing the “big sin” of pre-marital sex rendered them stuck and kept them from making future God-honoring decisions—including understanding how to love well and feel worthy of forgiveness. “The more obedient we are, the bigger He gets,” Cindy says. “Understanding we don’t have to carry the guilt and shame anymore allowed us to move forward in our marriage. We changed our priorities and ultimately, our entire life.”
Cindy shares how she and her husband went from an emphasis on materialistic things and worldly wealth to giving it all up in pursuit of God. When her husband received the next big paycheck, instead of purchasing another home or building a barn to add to their large property—they adopted their daughter from Guatemala. This decision came from constant questioning and praying together: “God, what do You want us to do with all this?”
She goes on to discuss how being “leaders” in their church made her feel, how she felt like a complete hypocrite and imposter as she walked down the center aisle, pretending to be pure and teaching young girls they had to be, too—yet she had not been. Not even her husband knew that secret. “Our family went through a necessary deconstruction.” Which, by the way, I remind you is the best thing we can do to really draw nearer to God. Otherwise we just keep running and repeating the SAME mistakes. It’s exhausting.
Learn from others who have gone before you and remember that those who know better, do better. Don’t condemn yourself (or allow others to) for making decisions before you really knew better—including who you were created to be.
Cindy DeBoer is a blogger, psychiatric nurse, and recovering “unmissionary.” With her popular and timely blog, Far, Far Better Things, Cindy reveals the gritty yet life-giving journey her family discovered as they began to live truer to their faith. Her blog centers on how she and her family gave up on the American Dream, left lucrative careers, lived in nearly 100 percent Muslim Morocco, and now follow Christ in the inner city of Grand Rapids. Her most popular blog post garnered over 145,000 hits from over 150 countries.
She and her husband, Paul, are passionate about demystifying Islam, working with sustainable development programs in Central America, and living simply—so that others can simply live. They have two daughters at home and two married sons.
You can find Cindy’s blog and connect with her here: https://cindydeboer.com/
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