What would your life look like today if you hadn’t caved to the wrong version of yourself so many years ago?
At some point in our lives, we begin to question who we truly are. We wonder if the things our family, childhood friends, and church upbringings taught us were accurate guides or led us astray. How will we ever be able to meet all the expectations? How can we be who everyone else wants us to be, without sacrificing who we know we are?
Remorseless is the journey of one woman’s constant questioning and confusion about how others—including and especially God—see her. A transformational expose, each chapter leads readers down a path of self-acceptance unapologetically and without regret. Through various stages and seasons of life, you will learn how to navigate triumphs, tragedies, and decisions without losing sight of who you’ve been all along.
Impatient by nature, it took over two decades and many wrong decisions for BETH FISHER to figure out who she truly is. An empty-nester, divorcee, cancer-survivor and general overcomer of difficult life transitions, Beth outlines—through transparent and humorous accounts—the following hope and instruction to anyone who has gotten off course:
- Understanding the only narrative that matters—instead of the false and damaging version that has been created by yourself and others—is essential to realizing and believing your own worth
- Showing up in your story and doing the next right thing is the way to press through adversity
- Ditching labels—which are limiting, useless, and leave you stuck in indecision and inaction—is the way to reclaim who you’ve always been
If you are someone who is exhausted by the mental battle and decision-making required to show up as your true self, and are ready to let go of remorse for past choices, this book is for you.Advance Praise Excerpt Preorder Today!
Detecting O.P.O. a/k/a other people’s opinions, takes adroitness. It requires a certain level of dexterity, along with a whole lot of careful consideration, before landing on a final verdict. And by verdict, I mean trying to answer the often unanswerable question that circles in our heads when we meet someone. What are they assuming about me?
It’s a rather uncomfortable proposition, isn’t it? Within the first seven seconds of meeting, people will have a solid impression of who you are—in actuality, a tenth of a second is all it takes to start determining traits like trustworthiness.
This is crazy to me. Absolutely unbelievable. How in the world can people begin to make character assumptions about us—even as important as whether or not we can be trusted—in less time than it takes to get a bowl of cereal in the morning? It’s borderline implausible.
And yet, we assume things about others every day. It’s simple human nature. We are created with certain intuitions designed to keep us safe, like knowing the dark alley we just stumbled into holds danger, or a restaurant that isn’t actually serving food signals trouble. We instinctually know where danger lurks.
However, the waters become a little more muddied when we bring our inherent compasses of assumptions into everyday realms with other human beings.
Regardless of venue, when you meet people, adult protocol dictates asking socially obligatory questions. “How are you? What do you do for a living? Where are you from? What brings you here?” etc. I do not truly love or enjoy these platitudes. I find them meaningless and disingenuous. It tends to feel like an inquisition, or an invasion of sorts.
During one particularly difficult time in my life, a female attorney I’d met through our running club, invited me to join her and a group of her colleagues for dinner. I think she felt sorry for me after I’d confided some of my woes as a single, divorced mom. Never one to turn down an event where there are new people to meet, I gladly accepted, readying myself in less than five minutes. This is how I found myself sitting in a swanky restaurant, surrounded by lawyers.
The day had been chaotic. I was trying to navigate singledom for the first time in over twenty years while raising a teenaged daughter. Neither is a walk in any kind of seasonal park. Thus, I wore what I wore.
If underdressed can ever be an understatement, please let the record show it here. In the throes and aftermath of divorce, when putting on a pair of sweats seemed monumental, I was pretty proud of myself when I managed to hoist a pair of jeans onto my still shaky legs. I wasn’t entirely through the grieving process over my lost marriage.
I immediately felt as if the entire table was already cross-examining me when I walked into the restaurant. The room had no vestibule to offer protection from the peering eyes of its already seated diners. The male attorneys were decked out in suits, ties, and suspenders while my friend and the other lone female also wore business suits. Glancing down, I was thankful I had at least remembered a belt, to glitz up my Nike tee-shirt.
I took a deep breath, straightened my shoulders, and walked over to their table and introduced myself. “Hi. I’m Beth,” I said, while offering a half-cheerful and mostly heartfelt smile.
Three of the eight of them said hello, including the two females in the group.
As I took an offered seat, I felt like a parrot among ravens, or like an adult sitting at the kids table during the holidays. Along with fewer pots and pans, divorce also leaves you with an immediate stigma and sense of unbelonging. No matter how out of sorts you feel, mercilessly, everyone still expects you to be ready with proper answers in social settings.
The question arrived before the waiter did. “What do you do for a living? Beth, is it?” The man’s voice was smooth, with a drip of pretention. He wore big monogrammed cufflinks, a large insignia ring, and a diamond encrusted Rolex. When he spoke, all eyes at the table turned to him—there was no doubting who was in charge.
All side conversations stopped, as everyone waited for me to speak. I felt like an armed forces sniper must, counting back from five, finger on the trigger, slowing down each intentional breath before the moment of truth.
“I’m a proctologist,” I said. I tried to keep my face straight, as I imagined one of my Facebook bios. The thought came to my rescue. Read: Humor. Getting me through life and all its uncomfortableness for as long as I can remember.
From the look on their collective faces, the attorneys must have assumed I’d tell them I was a barmaid. Which by the way, I used to be, and I loved the job.
After letting them sweat it out a few more seconds, I smiled and clarified, “I’m in sales.”
I got a couple of half-smiles for my truth, but only momentarily. Conversations moved on, and though they included me politely, the distinctions between the other people at the table and me were evident. I wasn’t one of them.
It seemed clear they were thinking they were “better than” based on some irrelevant societal labels used—the have and have nots. What they didn’t know about this have not though, is that I made it out of the house that day with belt intact. I was making progress and doing better than the day before.
I didn’t yet know that transformation can occur even when we are sandwiched between scrutiny or scratching through situations wrought with despair. When we are in the middle of discomfort, it’s hard to see transition taking place. I don’t know if time heals all wounds, but it does bring about change. And I believe God used the deep grief of divorce to reframe the way I identified myself. He stripped away many of my asinine assumptions.
Praise for Remorseless:
We absolutely loved this book—this story—this journey. We really don’t know if any words we could say can do Remorseless the justice it deserves. Immediately, we identified with Beth’s pain and inner conflict, especially in light of her insatiable zest and positivity towards life. We understood her questioning and confusion. A wonderful communicator and writer, Beth makes you feel experiences, not just read about them. We loved Remorseless for its vulnerability, honesty, the Remorseless Reminders at the end of each chapter, and the faith struggles and wisdom that were learned and shared. I highly recommend this book to everyone who has experienced life’s struggles—which pretty much includes all of us. We all need to know that we are not alone in our experience.Dave Dravecky (Former Major League Pitcher for the SF Giants)
and Jan Dravecky, Authors of When You Can’t Comeback and Do Not Lose Heart
I loved this book! It’s quirky. It’s pleasantly irreverent. It’s heartfelt and faithful. Much like Beth herself! Thank you, Beth, for encouraging us all to drop the labels that keep us from knowing who we really are in Christ!Brian Spahr, Executive Pastor, Come to Go Ministries
Beth’s energy and authenticity are front-and-center in all that she does. She is a woman who is willing to ask – and attempt to answer – even the toughest questions. From her faith, to cancer, to managing a career and being a mom, Beth embodies the spirit of strength and forgiveness. That inspirational spirit jumps off the pages in this funny, heartwarming book.Meredith Bronk, President & CEO, OST
Beth Fisher’s book Remorseless is both relatable and thought provoking. It will inspire readers to show up and be who they were meant to be even in the face of adversity.Aileen Weintraub, Best-selling author of Never Too Young! 50 Unstoppable Kids Who Made a Difference
Beth’s transparency and vulnerability are a breath of fresh air. I found myself laughing out loud one minute, and soul-searching the next. With God’s help, Beth has chosen to live beyond the labels assigned to her by others. You can too! If you’re still trying to figure out who you really are, this is a great place to start.Bruce W. Martin, author of Desperate for Hope
Reading Beth Fisher’s powerful and inspiring book Remorseless is like sitting down for a long overdue heart-to-heart with that one true friend who you can always trust to tell you like it is, like it’s needed to be heard; and, because this friend has lived a life worth living (and has all the tee-shirts to prove it), you can also trust that what shall be told and what shall be heard shall always come from a place of love and a keen sense of understanding.Kurt Brindley, Leukemia/GVHD survivor and author of How Not To Die: In 13 Easy Steps
Beth Fisher speaks from the heart and that’s what makes this book such a fascinating read. Her powerful stories are delivered with such emotion that it makes you feel like you’ve known her forever. She doesn’t accept labels, assumptions or expectations from others, but finds comfort with who she is in the sight of God. Her main point is clear—you are perfect and acceptable the way God made you and above all, you are loved. You will enjoy Remorseless and will be able to relate to Beth as she takes you a one-of-a-kind journey. Hunker down for a unique ride.Del Duduit, Best-selling and award-winning author